


Changes in the mind

by oswin42



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Caring!Mycroft, Death, Depression, Gen, Hurt!Jim, Murder, Original Character(s), Post-Reichenbach, Sensory Overload, Torture, Violence, attempted suicide, changed character, it's not as dark as the tags make it sound, mentions of child abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:28:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8925943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oswin42/pseuds/oswin42
Summary: Jim Moriarty, against all his expectations, wakes up in hospital after the events of the roof of Barts. The bullet he shot into his brain has done some damage in his brain, but what does this do to a psychopath like Jim Moriarty? And what happens when Mycroft Holmes finds him?





	1. prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest fic I have written up to now. I hope you'll like reading it. Please read the tags before reading it as it contains some dark and heavy subjects. 
> 
> Thanks to disgvises on tumblr for the beta read and my friend Georgia for all the help with writing.
> 
> There'll be more notes after the epilogue.

The man hadn’t been in the hospital that long, but it had been long enough. In any other case, it was easy for the nurses to figure out a lot about someone, but not with this man. It wasn’t even clear if he knew who he was at all.   
This man was very clever. He played chess amazingly and seemed to be well read in several different subjects. From neuropsychology to string theory. He was also very private. He steered the conversation expertly whenever there was a subject he didn’t want to talk about.   
Since they didn’t even know his name he was quickly nicknamed the professor. Which he liked. Every night the professor would have horrible nightmares. He’d scream and beg in his sleep but he’d say not to remember anything from it when the nurses asked. He saw psychologists, psychiatrists, neurologists and any other doctor they could think of. They did tests. Those tests showed damage in his memory and in the part of his brain that dealt with emotions. There was also old damage in his prefrontal cortex that would have been there since early childhood. The professor simply shrugged as the doctors told him this. He didn’t seem to care, or maybe he knew already.

  
Weeks passed like that. The professor slowly got physically better but his mental state stayed more or less the same. Then one day four men in suits arrived. They carried an arrest warrant for the professor. The professor was asleep at this time. They just wheeled the professor out, bed and all, and took him away.


	2. Chapter 1

When the professor woke up again he was in a cell. The walls, floor and ceiling were all concrete and the door was thick, shining metal. There were no windows in the room and the only light came from a TL behind bars in the ceiling. He was laying on a concrete slab with a thin mattress on top of it. When he had observed his surroundings, the professor went to sleep again.

  
He only woke up again when three men hauled him off his bed and dragged him away. The men expected him to fight, but he didn’t. He was handcuffed and pushed down on his knees in front of a metal tub filled with cold water. He knew what it meant but he didn’t say anything or try to escape. Both were useless. Even if he had the right tools and was in excellent physical condition he’d have plenty of trouble fighting all off the three men, let alone escaping. His current condition made escaping very unlikely, if not impossible. Talking to them wouldn’t make a difference either and would probably make what was coming worse.   
Not that he particularly cared.   
The men just stared at him, waiting for some sort of reaction and when it didn’t come they looked a little uncomfortable. There was a command in their earpieces and the tallest guy pushed his head into the water. He didn’t struggle and after a moment of doubt he inhaled through his mouth. He felt the water come into his lungs and he felt his body protest. He had nothing to live for and knew all too well what these people were capable of. He didn’t fancy waiting around. As soon as they realized what was happening, they pulled his head out of the cold water by his hair and forced him to cough it up.   
He was transported back to the cell and given a thin blanket and a towel. He curled up with both without even trying to dry himself. He waited.   
15 minutes later Mycroft Holmes walked into his cell. The professor did not look up. He felt his body shiver but ignored it.   
“I brought tea.” Mycroft Holmes said in a calm and conversational tone. The professor looked up. It was true. The man was carrying two cups of tea. A guard set a fold out table and chair down in his cell. Mycroft Holmes placed the two cups on the table and sat down. He indicated the two cups.  
“Have a cup of tea, Mister Moriarty.”  
The professor cringed when he heard that name.   
“Jim, have a cup of tea.” Mycroft Holmes insisted, but his voice was friendlier this time. The professor sat up slowly and reached for one of the cups. His hands were still shaking as he took it. He slowly and carefully sipped it.  
“Why am I not dead yet?” He asked.  
“Why did you try to kill yourself” Mycroft countered.   
“Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer of.” Jim said, trying to sound like the man he once was. Instead it came out quiet and pathetic. Mycroft raised an eyebrow in surprise. This wasn’t the Jim Moriarty he knew, the psychopath who had taunted him and his brother.   
“What happened?” Mycroft asked. He sounded genuinely concerned. This caught James’ attention.  
“You’ve seen my medical records”  
“Records can be faked, people can be manipulated. I want to hear it from you.”  
Jim contemplated if he should attempt to play his old self or just shut up altogether, but if anyone could help him, if anyone could not feel pity with him it would be Mycroft Holmes. He took a sip of his tea and started to talk.  
“In a way it started on the roof. I was ready to die. I was prepared. I couldn’t face the boredom anymore and you and your brother were the only ones clever enough to dismantle the organization and survive. I dropped enough clues and watched everything. I pulled the trigger and then, against all odds, I woke up in the hospital. It messed up my brain. A lot. And it hurts.” He tapped the side of his head “In here” He took another sip of his tea. He made no attempt to hide the pain and sadness.  
“How do I know you’re not playing?”  
“You’ve seen the records.”  
“Again, they can be manipulated.”  
“Why don’t you do your own test?” Jim suggested after a moment of silence.  
Mycroft smiled “I shall.”  
Jim finished his tea and let out a tired sigh.  
"Get some sleep, Mister Moriarty." Mycroft told him as he got up. "I'll have some food brought to you first, do eat it." He continued before he left the room. The guard took the chair and table and locked the door again.

  
After he'd wolfed down the food they'd given him, Jim quickly fell asleep. He woke up and he immediately felt that there'd been some drugs in his food. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. He groaned unhappily at the groggy feeling. He turned away from the bright lights as the door opened. His head hurt like hell.   
"What time is it?" He asked the guard that had come in.  
"Face the wall and hands on your head." The guard barked at him. Jim grumbled unhappily but slowly got up. His body didn't exactly want to cooperate so it took him a moment to place his hands on his head. The guard shoved him impatiently against the wall and roughly forced plastic cuffs onto Jim's wrists after pulling his hands behind his back. The cuffs were tightened roughly and too tight. Jim whimpered quietly like a hurt animal. The guard grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him out his cell. Jim stumbled and tried to keep his balance. He was in no doubt that if he fell the guard would simply drag him along on the floor. He tried his best to keep his balance and more or less managed to do so. He stumbled through corridors until they came to another steel door. The guard shoved Jim inside and Jim fell down on his knees on the concrete floor. The door slammed shut and Jim closed his eyes. He waited for kicks or punches to come. There was a touch at his wrists. Jim whimpered. He didn't want to open his eyes. Then there was Mycroft's voice  
"I'm just going to take these off, Jim." Mycroft sounded kind, caring even. His soft hands took the plastic cuffs off and helped Jim up carefully.  
"I apologize for the roughness of the guard. He shall be punished for that."   
"No." Jim said quietly but determinedly.   
"No?"   
"I don't want anyone else hating me."  
"Jim."  
Jim cringed "don't call me that."  
"It is your name." Mycroft said. "What else am I supposed to call you?"  
"How about James?" He asked in a shy and quiet voice.  
"Very well" Mycroft said with a soft smile "I'll call you James. Please sit down, James. You look like you're about to fall over." Mycroft motioned to the couch to the side. It looked comfortable.   
"I feel like I am about to fall over." James said with a weak smile as he sat down on the couch. Mycroft took a cup of tea from his desk and offered it to James as he sat down next to him. Jim mumbled a soft thank you as he took it. He took a sip of it and savored the hot liquid in his mouth.   
"I owe you an apology, James." Mycroft said  
James frowned ”Really?"   
"What do you mean, James?"  
"You've done your tests and seen that I told the truth. You feel sorry but you've already deduced that I'm not angry with you. Neither of us wants me in prison and neither of us thinks it's a good idea for me to be out on the streets. You already have an idea on how to fix this, so tell me."   
"You need to rest up first."  
"I may not be the person I once was but I'm by no means stupid."  
Mycroft smiled "I am not doubting you, James."  
James sipped his tea as he waited for Mycroft to continue.  
"Why don't we have a meal?" Mycroft suggested "I have it on good authority that you love Lasagna,"  
"That I do." James said as he took another sip of his tea. He clung onto the cup and savored the heat of it. The cell was cold and Mycroft's office wasn't that much warmer. He hadn't noticed before and wouldn't have noticed it at all if it wasn't for his shaking hands. Mycroft noticed it as well.  
"Though I may suggest you have a shower first. I'll have some clean and dry clothes put ready for you."  
Before everything he'd never have accepted it. But things were different now. He found that, when he nodded, he didn't really mind. He noticed he didn't feel like making a rude comment. He put it down to the exhaustion and filed it away in his brain to think about later.   
"Please."  
“Very well.” Mycroft said and pushed a button on his desk “Anthea, escort James to the showers and arrange some clothes for him.”

  
Moments later a good looking woman walked in. The few deductions James could make danced in front of his eyes like sparks. He almost fell over as he got up. Anthea caught him just in time.   
“James, you just called her a lesbian in Russian.” Mycroft said, somewhere between surprised and shocked.   
“I’m not wrong, am I?”   
“No, but you still seem to be unaware that you’re speaking Russian all of a sudden.”  
James blinked owlishly and switched to english “My apologies.”  
“Go have that shower James. We shall talk later”  
James nodded and followed Anthea out the door.

  
The shower felt amazing. Sweat and blood washed away as he slowly warmed up. He stayed under the shower for a long time, probably longer than he had done in a very long time. He’d rarely allowed himself such luxuries but for now he was set on getting every little comfort he could. He closed his eyes and focussed on the water rushing down his body.

  
He got out of the shower and found boxers and what, to James, looked like a spare army uniform ready for him together with a note from Anthea ‘It’s all we could find on short notice’  
James shrugged and dressed in the uniform. It’d been a long time since he’d worn a uniform like this. He wondered briefly when it was before the memories hit him like a slap in the face. The smell of gasoline followed immediately. They were going to find him any moment now and the whole mission would be useless. He felt a hand on his shoulder and elbowed behind him blindly. He didn’t hit anything and the hand pulled away. He was ready to fight. Ready to finish his mission.   
“James” a female voice said with urgency. It was very clearly an English voice. It didn’t add up. His head hurt. He tried to push the pain away, like he always did, but he couldn’t concentrate. If he could just concentrate then he could…  
“James!” came the same voice again. This time there was more worry in the voice. He opened his eyes,wondered when he’d closed them, and saw Mycroft's assistant. She looked worried.  
“James?” She asked as she knelt down next to him. He then noticed that he was curled up on the floor and wondered how he got down there in the first place.   
He tried to say something, tried to tell her that he was alright, but when he opened his mouth to speak he started sobbing. Inwardly he cursed himself for not being able to control his emotions.   
“S-sorry.” He stuttered quietly  
Anthea offered him a glass of water.   
“It’s quite alright.” She assured. “But I think that you should get some sleep. You look like hell. Mister Holmes arranged for more decent bedding in your cell until something more suitable can be arranged. I’ll have your food kept warm for you until you wake up again.”  
He wanted to protest. He wanted to tell her that he was fine. He tried to sit up and was reminded of how exhausted he was. He was not fine.  
“Please.” He said in a hoarse whisper.

  
He woke up from a much calmer and better sleep. It had been a long time since he had actually felt rested. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. The mattress was soft and the thick blanket was warm and comforting. If he wasn’t so hungry and thirsty he’d have gone back to sleep. He got up and walked to the door. His whole body felt sore. He knocked softly on the door.  
“Hello?”   
There was a faint sound of a comm system and then a male voice at the other side of the door.   
“He’s awake, ma’am.”  
There was another soft noise which, James deduced, must been Anthea giving instructions. About a minute later there was the clicking of heels and the door opened. Anthea was carrying a tray with the promised lasagna, a bottle of water and a cup of tea. Anthea set the tray down.  
“Not that I think you are, but if you’re playing I will personally hunt you down. Am I clear?” Anthea said calmly. It wasn’t threatening, just stating facts. She could just as well have told him the current weather or that 5+5 equals 10.  
“Yes.” James said. “Understood.” He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t playing, therefore he had nothing to fear. He sat down and tried the lasagna. It was amazing, but he didn’t wolf it down. He wanted to but he had no desire to throw it up.   
“How long did I sleep?” James asked as he downed the water.  
“16 hours.” Anthea replied.   
“What time is it?”  
“Five pm.”  
James nodded thoughtfully as he took another bite of the food.   
“Mister Holmes had a few important meetings, but he’ll be arriving at nine. He requests you join him for a cup of tea to discuss living arrangements.”  
James gave a short nod to signal he understood. They sat in silence for a while.  
“Did I hurt you?” James asked suddenly, “I mean last night.”  
“You missed.” She replied.  
James let out a relieved sigh.  
“I worried.” He admitted.  
Anthea knew it shouldn’t have surprised her but it did anyway.  
“Thank you” Was all she could manage.  
James stared at the half full plate “Look, this is delicious but I can’t.”  
“Don’t worry. Your body will still be confused. I’ll inform Mister Holmes it’s something to get looked at.”

  
James lay on the bed with his eyes closed and focussed on a mathematics lecture he’d once attended in Oxford on matrix algebra, though he struggled to remember the slides properly. It didn’t much matter, there was the professor's voice anyway. He then allowed himself to let his mind wander to the drinks he had with the professor afterwards. He remembered the two of them having a half drunken discussion of Lewis Carroll’s mathematics in the Eagle and the Child which had ended with James standing on top of a table and reciting the Jabberwocky poem. His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. He opened his eyes and slowly sat up. Mycroft had opened the door and stood in the doorway.   
“Good evening James.”  
“Good evening mister Holmes.” James said with a shy voice.  
“Please, James, do call me Mycroft.”  
“Good evening Mycroft.”  
“Please join me for a cup of tea?” Mycroft asked as he motioned to the hallway. James got up and followed Mycroft. He looked around as they walked through the hallways and to a door at the end of another one. He observed everything carefully. He hadn’t had much of a chance to look at it all before. The deductions streamed through his brain but he didn’t quite manage to process it all. Mycroft opened the door into his office. James followed Mycroft in and sat down in front of Mycroft's desk. On it were two cups of tea waiting. James picked one of them up and sipped it carefully. Just how he liked his tea. Mycroft smiled kindly and offered James a biscuit. James took it and nibbled on it quietly and waited for Mycroft to speak.  
“You are wondering what this idea of mine is.” Mycroft stated finally  
“Yes.”  
“I would like you to start working for me.”  
“Why?” James asked with a frown. “Why would you want a psychopathic criminal working for you?”  
Mycroft observed James for a moment before answering, “You told me yourself that you’re not like that anymore.”  
“And I’m not useful to you.”  
“I disagree. You still know almost everything that happened to you and you feel horribly guilty about it.”  
James pulled his arms close to himself unconsciously subconsciously. His whole posture changed to a much more guarded one. Mycroft's posture on the other hand became more open the moment he noticed it.   
“James,” Mycroft said with a kind voice, “you don’t want to spent the rest of you life in an isolation cell being horribly bored, do you?”  
“It is what I deserve.”  
“It’s what Jim Moriarty deserves. You deserve a second chance. As you said, you changed and the man sitting opposite of me is not Jim Moriarty.”  
James nodded slowly, Mycroft was right on this point  
“But you’re still as clever, you’ve still got so many of his skills and with me you can ease that conscious.”  
“What’s in it for you?” James asked warily. He wasn’t going to be a burden for Mycroft  
“You already know the answer.”  
“I want you to tell me anyway.”  
“It,” James started, tapping his head, “malfunctions sometimes. It didn’t use to happen before, but now. It’s like I can’t trust it.”  
Mycroft took a sip from his tea and stared at James for a long moment before answering.   
“I think that with the right training and the right help you could make a real difference in this world and I would hate to see such a brilliant mind rot away in an isolation cell.”  
James finished his tea and put the cup down on the desk. He smiled softly, “Seems like it’s the best option of the two.”  
Mycroft smiled, “Good decision.”  
“I have one more question.”  
“Go ahead.”  
“Why the army uniform?”  
“It is most practical and I thought it would be better for you than prison clothes. I had not counted on any undercover missions you might have done in uniform.”  
“You are right in thinking it reminds me of the time in the army. Though I thought you hadn’t caught onto that part yet.”  
“Not until quite recently.” Mycroft admitted. “Well done Corporal James Lewis.”  
James smiled softly and tapped two fingers to the side of his forehead in a casual salute.   
Mycroft smiled and was about to speak when his phone gave a notification.  
“My apologies James.” Mycroft's smile had disappeared the instant he saw the screen. “It seems tonight I have urgent business to see to. I will arrange for an appropriate carer and guard as soon as possible.”  
As soon as he’d said that a guard walked in and took out handcuffs.  
“You understand, don’t you James, that for the security that, unless you are accompanied by me, you need to be handcuffed in the hallways.”  
James read Mycroft's face and then the face of the guard. He turned around and put his arms behind him. The guard cuffed him and walked him back to the cell. 


	3. Chapter 2

He didn’t mind the uniform as much anymore. He sat down and waited for Mycroft to arrive. The guard had gotten instructions to bring him to the office and wait there with him. There had been a book put ready for him and so Jim curled up on the couch with the book and read. In was an interesting book on string theory. Jim found himself enjoying it. Almost an hour after the guard had taken him from his cell and walked him to the office the door finally opened again and Mycroft came in. He was wearing a grey three piece suit that Jim thought looked very good on him. Jim quickly memorized the page number of the page he’d gotten to and closed the book. He got up. Even though Mycroft looked exhausted he smiled.   
“Good evening, James.” He said and turned to the guard. “A strong cuppa for the both of us.”  
The guard nodded and left the room.  
“Difficult day?” James enquired while Mycroft sat down at his desk. James sat opposite him.  
“Say, James,” Mycroft asked with an almost irreverent smile “How long has it been since you’d played chess?”  
A faint blush appeared on James’ face   
“Well...” he started “I have played with a few people in the hospital, but not properly.”   
Mycroft took a beautiful chess set out of one of the drawers of his desk.  
“Lets?”  
James nodded enthusiastically and helped Mycroft set the pieces on the board. James had a close look at the hand-carved pieces and waited for Mycroft to start playing. They replied quickly to each others moves, both used to quick games. After several moves the guard came in with two cups of tea. He put them on the table and left the room again without disturbing them. It was clearly something he was used to. James sipped his tea with one hand while he moved a piece with the other. For the first time his eyes had lit up and he was actually enjoying himself. Mycroft watched the happy smile on James face and postponed his questions.   
Their game took quite a while, especially for the speed they were playing at. Suddenly James sat back, took his cup of tea in his hand and spoke “Mate in three.”   
He took a long sip of his, now half cold, tea and grinned happily while Mycroft studied the board.  
Mycroft put his king down on the board and smiled “You are correct. Very well played James.”  
Mycroft took a sip of his own tea “Rematch?”  
“I’d love to.” James said with a wide smile and started to place the pieces back into the starting position.

  
“Tell me about your childhood.”Mycroft requested several moves into the new game.   
“It’s not a pretty story.” James said as he studied the board. He didn’t want to look at Mycroft. He slowly moved a piece before he started talking, his eyes never leaving the board.  
“My parents lived in a big house in the Irish countryside. My father was a criminal who’d gotten rich from it. Rather clever and paranoid as hell. He could be very charming if he wanted to. My mum was beautiful and full of love but when she tried to leave with me he killed her. I was three years old at the time.”  
James kept his eyes on the chess pieces as he talked. Their game had been going much more slowly than the previous one.   
“Mum was buried in the back garden. I remember helping my father dig the hole for her corpse. After that he didn’t really look after me so I quickly learned to do that myself. I would spent days in his library he never really used anyway. The books were just investments to him. When I finally went to school I did a lot of the chores in the home already, practically running the household. Father had most of the village in his pocket so I kept my head down. This included the police officer, so there was no one anyone could go to anyway. When I wasn’t beaten around by him and his friends I moved through the grades faster than anyone and by the age of eleven I’d done my A-levels. I scored almost perfectly.”  
James’ gaze moved from the board to his hands. His right hand found its way to his left forearm. He briefly stroked a faint scar on his arm before looking at the board again and moving a piece.  
“I got an offer to study applied mathematics here in London but when I told my father he told me I was to stay and run the household. He beat me half to death so I couldn’t leave and then locked me up in the basement. I was so angry. I was so scared.”  
James’ hands were shaking now. The sadness was easily visible on his face.   
“I couldn’t help myself.”  
A single tear ran down his face “I needed to get away so I killed him. It was slow and messy and he begged for his life and I loved every second of it.” The words tumbled out of his mouth. He still did not regret it.   
Mycroft patted James’ hand softly in a comforting gesture. Neither of them said anything for a while. It was silent apart from James’ breath that slowly steadied and the faint noise of pipes and occasionally the footsteps of a guard.   
After a while, James wasn’t sure how long later, his head had finally calmed down. He looked up at Mycroft, who spoke “Go back to sleep, James. We shall continue this game another time.”  
James wanted to go against this. He was about to tell Mycroft that he wasn’t weak, that he could continue when he felt the exhaustion. Mycroft had only said it because he had noticed it where James had not.   
“If you don’t mind, could I maybe have some more tea and maybe a little chocolate?” He asked quietly  
“Of course.” Mycroft said with a soft, caring expression and asked Anthea for those over the intercom on his desk. James looked at the chessboard. He didn’t want to look at Mycroft. He slowly moved another piece since it was his turn after all. Mycroft handed James the book he’d been reading “Here. Take it with you.”  
“Thank you.” James said.   
Anthea came in with the requested items and handed it to James. He repeated his thank you to her.

  
James had finished the book the next afternoon. A guard, who James had deduced was terrified of him, had brought him breakfast. The guard had reached for his gun when James had jumped up hungrily. James had quickly put his hands up in an attempt to show that he wasn’t going to harm him. Thankfully the guard had calmed down. Lunch was brought by a rather amused Anthea.   
“You scared the new guard.” she told him with a smile.  
“I was hungry.” He admitted. “And the food smelled good.”  
“I told him you’re more scared of him than he is of you.”  
“That might very well be true.”  
“Mister Holmes requests you to think about what you’d like for your living arrangements and thought you might have finished your book.”  
“I have.”  
“He gave me a new book for you.” She said and gestured to the tray she’d brought in. Next to his lunch was a book on advanced applied mathematics. James’ face lit up with happiness.   
“Don’t forget about the list.” She said as she put a pencil and paper down as well. “Mister Holmes will join you for supper.”  
  
James scribbled his list down quickly. It wasn’t long anyway. He started reading the book while eating his lunch. He quickly lost track of time and did not look up until the door opened again. He put his finger on the place he was in the book and looked up. Mycroft stood in the doorway. It was clearly already evening.  
“Evening James.” Mycroft said.  
“Mycroft.” James acknowledged.   
“Supper is waiting.” Said Mycroft as he gestured to the hallway.  
James looked at the pagenumber and closed the book. He got up and followed Mycroft through the hallway to the office. James smiled as he spotted the meal on the table. He hadn’t had meat and two veg in a while and the roast potatoes looked simply delicious. He sat down opposite Mycroft and smiled. “It smells amazing...”  
“Do see what it tastes like” Mycroft suggested as he took a first bite of the food on his own plate.

  
It had been a while since James had really enjoyed food this much. He still couldn’t eat much or fast but he actually enjoyed it.   
“If you’re up for it,” Mycroft said once James had finished eating, “I’d like to hear more about your childhood.”  
“I’m sure I can manage with a cuppa.” James said with a soft smile.   
Mycroft nodded and motioned to the teapot to the side. James poured himself a cup of tea and sipped it before speaking.   
“After all that I packed a few things and some of his money and I left for London.” He continued as if the break had been seconds instead of a day.   
“The bastard had arranged I wouldn’t get my inheritance until my 21st birthday so I couldn’t do much. I tried to go to the university but they wouldn’t accept me without a parent or guardian. They suggested I should go into foster care but I couldn’t risk my father’s friends finding me. I stayed on the streets instead. I fought and stole because I wanted to stay alive. It’s adapt or die, so I adapted. I figured out I could do the planning best of all. I sold ideas, I pulled off heists, and all from the library. It took me less than a year to get enough money to buy my own place. Before that I stayed in abandoned places or in quiet alleys. It wasn’t easy to forge the right papers, but I’d build up some contacts by then. More than anything I wanted to try again for university but by then I’d build up an organisation and a reputation. I had to keep going. Once you’re in you can’t really get out, as you know.”  
James took another sip of his tea and listened to the sounds of the building.   
“What about Carl Powers?” Mycroft asked after a moment of silence.  
“I met him while working in the library. He and his friends bullied me and I wasn’t going to stand for it, but they were older and stronger than me. They wouldn’t stop so I stopped him.”  
“Ah.”  
There were quiet for a while. James drank his tea silently and Mycroft finished his food.   
“The list?” Mycroft informed a while later.  
“Nothing much. A bed, a sink, some books, some drawing supplies and some clothes.”  
“That is all?”  
“Everything you’re likely to give me.”  
“Very well.”  
James could see Mycroft was still filing away all the information he’d given him.

 


	4. Chapter 3

James didn’t know how long he’d slept this time. His sense of time felt warped and his head felt heavy. He opened his eyes and wondered what had woke him when he heard a soft knock on the door. He sat up.  
“It’s not like I can open it.” He said, attempting humor while still tired.   
The shy guard opened the door and came in with breakfast.   
“Anthea asked me to wake you. You’re to eat breakfast and have a shower, after that I’m to take you to your new room. Mister Holmes requests you write down some titles of books you’d like to have.” James nodded and rubbed his eyes. He looked at the tray the guard was carrying in hopes of seeing coffee.  
“Brought any coffee, young man?” James asked.  
The guard looked a little bewildered.  
“Mister Holmes was strict about what to get you. Just toast and tea.”  
“Tea will do.” James said with a soft smile “Do please bring it over.”  
The guard walked forward and handed James the tray. He quickly went back to stand by the door. James sipped his tea and nibbled on the toast. He watched the guard and let the deductions flow into his brain.   
“Owen, isn’t it?” He finally asked.   
The guard nodded “How do you know?”  
“Would you believe me if I said lucky guess?”  
“No.”  
“Good. It’s in the back of your shirt.”  
The guard looked a little embarrassed.  
“You’re new, aren’t you?”  
The guard nodded.  
“I don’t bite, Owen. At most I will hiss at you,like a cat, when I’m scared or angry.”  
The guard couldn’t help it but smile. The fear and tension left the room and Owen looked more comfortable.   
“You just thought about the cat you have at home, didn’t you?”  
“Yeah.” The guard said with a soft smile on his face.  
“Tell me about her?” James asked and took another sip of his tea.  
“I don’t think i’m supposed to be talking to you.” Owen said.  
“I’m not making you talk about her. I would just like to make conversation, but if you don’t want to I shall eat my breakfast in silence.”  
Owen considered this for a moment. A soft smile appeared on his face as he spoke “She’s an adorable ginger cat. I named her Alice because she’s always curious. Always looking around.”   
James smiled at the guard and finished his toast before speaking  
“You probably have a hard time keeping her inside then?”  
“I have a cat flap. She comes and goes as she pleases. An automated feeder so even when I have to work late she has her food in time.”  
James smiled widely, very much like the smile of a curious 5 year old. “Alright, I’m ready for the shower and change of clothes.” He said as he got up.  
Owen produced handcuffs “I’m sorry, protocol.”   
“Don’t apologize for doing your job. And always make sure you follow Mister Holmes’ orders and protocols, no matter what others say. They’re there for a reason.”  
Owen nodded. “Please turn around?”  
James got up and let the guard handcuff him. It’s nothing he couldn’t get out of if he wanted anyway.

  
The room was lovely. It had a proper bed and even a pillow. It had comforting lighting and white walls. There was a big whiteboard with a marker on the wall opposite the wall that had his bed against it. On the bed was a comfortable duvet. Next to the desk was an empty locker that reminded James of his army days, exactly what he’d had in basic training. It was empty. Opposite the wall that held the door and close to the whiteboard was a desk with paper and pencils on it. Above the desk was a shelf with more paper and a few books. To the other side of the whiteboard and nearer to the door was a small sink. On the little shelf above the sink were a plastic cup, a toothbrush, toothpaste and a comb. James smiled happily.  
“This is brilliant!” He exclaimed happily. Owen, who was still standing in the doorway, smiled. He pointed at a little button next to the door.  
“This is an intercom. It will go to either Mister Holmes, Miss Anthea or me. Depending on who is on shift. In case none of us is available, it goes to someone who is briefed on the situation.”  
James nodded and picked up the toothbrush. He couldn't help the big grin on his face. Owen nodded with a knowing smile and closed the door, leaving James in his room. James spent five minutes brushing his teeth and another five minutes combing his hair. After that he spent a while exploring /his/ room, /his/ stuff. He signed to the small security camera in the corner ‘thank you’ in british sign language.


	5. chapter 4

It was two days later when he was woken up by someone shaking him softly.  
“James.” Owen said urgently.  
James sat up, shocked and disorientated. He and Owen had spent every meal talking about little things. Owens cat, James’ drawings and books. Well, mostly about books. Turned out Owen was an avid reader like James. Owen was no longer scared of James and James started to warm to Owen as well.  
“Mister Holmes needs you urgently.”  
“What time is it?” He asked sleepily.  
“Four AM.”   
James got up and pulled his jacket, british army standard, on. It wasn’t exactly warm in… well in where-ever he was staying in. He put his hands behind his back so that Owen could put the handcuffs on and let Owen guide him to where ever he was needed. Owen had dressed in a hurry. His T-shirt was inside out and one of the laces of his boots was going to come undone in the next hour.

  
James was guided to a room and set down in front of a computer. Owen pressed a key and Mycroft came on the screen. Mycroft looked exhausted and James let his brain go over the deductions. Worked through the night, stressed, on his fifth, no, sixth cup of coffee.   
“Mister Holmes” He said with a nod.  
“James. I’ve got several files set up. I want you to read through them and tell me what you think.”  
“Yes sir.” James said quickly. The tone Mycroft had spoken it demanded a reply like that and his brain wasn’t awake enough to fight the easy reply.  
“I’m gonna need coffee though.”  
“Hathaway, set him up with coffee and the files.”  
Owen quickly nodded and did as he was told. Mycroft's face disappeared from the screen and James got started. There had been some sort of attack. Several people had been killed. It was clear Mycroft wanted to know who’d done it. James read over the files quickly and sipped the coffee Owen had given to him.  
“I’m gonna need pen and paper.” He told Owen without looking up from his screen.  
Owen pushed a notebook and a pen in view and James immediately grabbed it and began writing.   
“How’s Alice?” He asked while scribbling away.  
“I. uhm.” Owen said as he needed a moment to catch up to what James was saying “She’s good. Not happy with me getting up this morning since she was asleep on my legs.”  
James chuckled softly  
“Pet her from me when you get home.”  
“Will do.” Owen replied and a soft smile appeared on the tired face.  
He wasn’t sure how much time had passed since he started when he finally looked up.  
“I’m done. This is all I have.” He showed the page full of scribbles.  
Owen took a picture of it with his phone and sent it to Mycroft.   
“Back to your cell now.” Owen said.

  
Another guard brought lunch. James didn’t like him much. He kept his gun pointed at him. James didn’t eat much. He was glad when Owen brought in supper. They sat down and Owen talked to him about the emergency.  
“Mister Holmes is very grateful for your information. We’ve been able to get to the men who did this and the men who were behind it.”  
James smiled and ate his peas.   
“You were in one of the arrest teams.”  
“Should I even ask how you know?”  
“You could.” James said with a grin  
“Will I feel stupid?”  
“Either way you shouldn’t.”  
“Then tell me.”  
“You’re my primary guard but you weren’t here. You were here this morning so it wasn’t because you’re sick or had a free day. Also because you’re here now. So you were out. Mister Holmes wants to have a set schedule and as much routine for me as possible so he wouldn’t just send you on anything. It was important. This was important as several of a Unit of his died. Part two of it is that you got hit by something. I’m guessing a fist. You’re holding onto your arm uncomfortably. It must hurt.”  
Owen started laughing “That is amazing.”  
James blushed and focussed on eating his mash instead of looking at Owen.  
“Spot on too.” Owen continued.  
“Mister Holmes must be exhausted.”  
“I think I should not comment on that.”  
James laughed “Best not. So will I see Mister Holmes anytime soon?”  
“You’re scheduled for tomorrow afternoon.”  
James smiled, “thanks.” He finished eating the food “Can I ask for something?”  
“You can ask.” Owen said.  
“I’d like something to put my drawings up on the wall...” He said as he motioned to a few drawings on his desk. “Tape or something.”  
“I’ll see what I can do.” Owen said as he picked up the plate.”  
“First thing tomorrow then.” James said with a smile.  
Owen nodded and left.

 


	6. chapter 5

Mycroft walked into James’ room somewhere between lunch and supper. James was taping pencil sketches of Oxford on the walls with the tape Owen had brought in after breakfast.   
“Good afternoon Mycroft.”  
“Good afternoon James.”  
James stepped back from the last drawing he’d just taped on the walls and observed Mycroft.  
“Have a seat?” James suggested as he motioned to the chair at his desk.  
Mycroft put the canvas bag he had been carrying on the desk and looked at one of the drawings. James eyed the bag but didn’t say anything.  
“Excellent memory for detail, James.” Mycroft said “You even have the numbers of windows correct. My compliments.”  
James smiled “I’ve always had an eye for detail.”  
Mycroft moved to the next drawing “Not been in Oxford for a while, have you?”  
“Years... Has it changed much?”  
“Just the details.” Mycroft said as he pointed to a detail.  
“Are those the books?”  
“Indeed they are. You can go and have a look.”  
James smiled and opened the bag and inspected the books, making his deductions as he went.  
“These are mine.” He commented.  
“They are now.”  
“No, Mycroft, these are from my collection. Well, what used to be my collection.”  
A flash of a grin went over Mycroft's face “I hadn’t noticed.”  
James laughed “Bullshit Mycroft. You knew. This is a test, isn’t it?”  
“Caught me. Tell me where they were standing.”  
James took the top book from the stack and felt the cover “First bookcase, second shelf from above, fifth book from the left...” He said as he put the book on the shelf. He then took the second book, felt the cover, told Mycroft where it had been standing and then put in on the shelf. Until he came to the last.   
“This one is new.”  
“Tell me about it.”  
“Leather bound notebook, dotted paper. From your personal collection.” James said. He closed his eyes to focus better “Normal leather. Hand bound. By a leftie. A professional. It would have been expensive but it was a gift. How did I do?”  
“Almost. It’s my gift to you.”  
“As a thank you for the people I saved with the information I provided?”  
“You need to ask?”  
James smiled again “I heard I’ve saved a few people.”  
“You know it’s more than that.”  
“You haven’t just come to bring these or to say thank you. You want to discuss something.”  
Mycroft sat down on the chair at the desk. James mirrored this on his bed.  
“It concerns your training.”  
“You want to test me to see what needs brushing up.” James commented. “I’m not as fast anymore and I think my fighting skills aren’t as good anymore but my brain still works fine on this.”  
Mycroft observed James “Could you get out?”  
James closed his eyes “I doubt it. The only possibility includes killing at least two men and then it’s only about a fifty percent chance I come out alive and almost certain I get hurt. I’d rather not.”   
Mycroft nodded “We’ll have to test some things then.”  
“I would say so.”   
“I’d like to put you up against one of my men to see where we’re at.”  
“Alright. That sounds like it could be fun.”  
Mycroft smiled. “It all depends on how good you are.”  
James chuckled softly, “I do hope it’ll be decent.”  
“I am sure you’ll manage.”  
There was a moment of silence. Mycroft looked at the drawings again.   
“Before I leave you to your sketches, I have something else for you. Something to fill that.” Mycroft said as he motioned to the empty locker. He gave a knock on the door and a guard James hadn’t seen before dumped a black bag onto the floor.   
“I’m sure you remember what this is.”  
“It’s the big black bag.” James said simply “Does that mean there’s a kit inside?”  
“Part of, yes. There are things you clearly don’t need in here and you are already wearing a few things. I do hope you remember how to put them up properly.”  
James raised an eyebrow, “Are you going to check, sir?” His voice had a joking undertone, something he would have gotten in trouble for at training.   
“Do you think you can’t do it, James?”  
“I’m sure it’s still in my mind somewhere...”  
“Then I suggest you get started.”  
James watched Mycroft for a moment and then decided that it wasn’t unfriendly.   
“Yes sir.” He said and gave a casual salute. He was about to grab the bag of the floor when Mycroft stopped him and tutted.   
“Properly, James.”  
James raised an eyebrow but then gave a proper salute. Mycroft smiled approvingly and saluted back.   
“Get going Corporal.” Mycroft said, but this time again with more kindness in his voice. Mycroft turned right like a seasoned soldier and left James’ room. James quickly got going and got his locker precisely in order.


	7. Chapter 6

“Let's get started.” James said as he went with his hand through his hair. Opposite of James stood one of Mycroft's operatives, ready to attack. On the floor were some mats to take the worst out of a fall but James knew well that it didn’t hurt much less than a normal floor. Without much warning the man grabbed his throat. James responded in a reflex more than anything. He grabbed the man's hand and twisted it to the side harshly. This forced the man to let go of his throat. He used the newfound control to force the man to the ground. The man quickly grabbed the collar of James’ shirt and pulled him down with him. James used his free hand to be able to roll over the floor instead of fall. They both got up quickly again. This time the man tried to get a police hold on his arm. James was prepared and twisted his elbow out of the way. He then used the closeness of the man to punch him in the stomach. The man recoiled and let go of James’ hand.   
“I’m going to fucking kill you.” He growled. James hid his fear and closed the gap between the two. He slammed against the man's shoulders and closed the new gap again. The man was now almost against the wall. James hit the most painful spot in the man's stomach. The man backed up against the wall completely.   
“I will end you.” James said calmly, anger radiating from his eyes, and wrapped a hand around the man's throat. He moved his elbow so that the man couldn’t reach for his hand, like he had done in the beginning of the fight. He closed off the blood supply to the man's brain. The man kicked at his shin.  
“Stop struggling and accept it you pathetic little thing.” James growled.   
The man punched a pressure point in his side and James let out a high pitched whimper. He let go of the man and clutched his side. The man aimed a punch at James’ shoulder, then grabbed the other one so James was now with his back to the man. The man wrapped his arm around James’ throat. He put pressure on the strangulation harshly. James let out a wordless cry and elbowed the man in the stomach. The man let go just enough to let a little blood into James’ brain again. James yanked at the arm and kicked at the man's shin. He felt the blood rush into his brain again and took a deep breath to get more oxygen. The man pushed against James’ back. James fell, but managed to turn it into a roll just in time. He was ready to fight again, but struggling to catch his breath. The man was there again immediately and the next moment he felt the pain in his shoulder. The man had been able to do the police hold. He then pushed James to the floor and held him down by putting a knee in his back. James cried out in pain. Tears came to his eyes.   
“Stop” He cried out. The man let go and helped James sit up. James was still struggling to catch his breath.   
“Out of practice my arse.” The man said with a smile. “You need to work on your fitness though. I’ll arrange with Mister Holmes that you’ll be able to do some cardio daily and let's say practice your skills three times a week.”  
James smiled “sounds good.”  
“I’ll also make sure that you get the right foods. For now” he handed James a energy bar and a bottle with an energy drink “have these. You need to finish these.”  
James took a big sip of the drink and then starts eating the bar. The trainer sat opposite him and took out his own energy drink.  
“I’ve fought with your Tiger once.” he said, suddenly. “He was good.”  
“He died.” James said. He looked away. “Not even from the job.”  
“Oh. “ The man said quietly  
“Of course he was too stubborn to tell me anything or even see a Doctor. He collapsed one morning and died two weeks later in a hospital bed.”   
James ate his bar and drank the energy drink silently. The man didn’t really know what to say. Not much later Owen came in again. He spotted James was feeling down.  
“Hey. come on. You need to shower and then Mister Holmes has a small present for you.”  
James got up and finished the drink. He handed the bottle back to the trainer and smiled “I’ll see you soon then.”  
The smile was mostly fake, but it still showed that he’d had a good time.

  
After the shower and the change of clothes he waited in Mycroft's office. He and Owen were playing a game to pass the time. James looked Owen in his eyes, “Left.” he said.  
Owen opened his left hand and showed the coin “Yep.”  
“Again?”  
“Sure.” Owen said and hid both his hands to transfer it a few times and held his hands up again. James looked at the hands and then at Owens eyes. “Left again.”  
Owen opened his left hand and showed the coin.   
“How do you do it?”  
James grinned, “Practice. Try again?”  
Owen repeated the movement and held his hands up again.  
“Right this time.” James said without a doubt as he pointed to Owens right hand.  
Owen opened his right hand and showed the coin.   
“Come on, tell me.” Owen said with a grin.  
“Now what would be the fun in that?”  
Owen laughed and repeated the hiding of the coin. He brought his fists forward just as Mycroft came in.  
“Mycroft” James said with a grin “Owen is holding a coin in either of his hands, which hand is it?”  
Mycroft gave one quick look to Owen.   
“Right hand.”  
Owen opened his right hand to reveal the coin, “How do you do that?”  
“Ask James.”  
James chuckled softly. “I’ll tell you next time.”  
“If you could, Hathaway.” Mycroft said as he motioned to the door.   
“Yes sir.” Owen quickly fell back into his guard duties and left the room quickly.  
“I’ve spoken with the trainer. He’s set up a meal plan and workout plan for you. He will be over on Monday, Wednesday and Friday to train with you. On the other days you will do a cardio workout. Of course any work you do for me has priority. Did you have any questions?”  
“How will I be doing cardio?”  
“There are a few things for the guards to train on here. I recommend the treadmill but it’s up to your preference.”  
James nodded and looked at the small box that was wrapped in brown paper on the desk. Mycroft smiled as he saw him look   
“That is indeed your present. Go ahead and open it.”  
James picked it up and weighted it in his hands.  
“Can you deduce what it is?” Mycroft asked.  
James moved it around, listened to it as he shook it softly and inspected the wrapping.  
“New drawing pencils.” he said after a moment.  
“Any other deductions?”  
“Wrapped by the shop assistant at the art store closest to the Diogenes Club.”  
Mycroft smiled proudly. “Well done.”  
James received the compliment with a smile and opened the package. It contained his favorite pencils in a pretty box. The box had his name on it. James smiled widely like a young child as he looked up at Mycroft, “Thank you!”   
“Now, how about another game of chess?”  
“I’d love to. Is it long until supper?”  
“You’re hungry?”  
“Very.” James admitted.  
“I’ll see what I can do. Set up the board for me, please.”  
James set up the chessboard for their game while Mycroft briefly talked to Anthea about James’ supper.


	8. Chapter 7

James was ready to go to bed, wearing only a big T-shirt and boxers. He was curled up happily in his blanket and sat on his bed reading one of the books Mycroft had brought him. This particular one was on number theory. It was among his favorite parts of mathematics, the part he had wanted to specialize in when he still had dreams of becoming a mathematics professor. It had been two days since his last interaction with Mycroft. He’d lost the game of chess but enjoyed the supper and the conversation. The next day he had taught Owen the basics of reading where the coin was (it’s surprisingly often the nose. It will point slightly towards the hand with the coin in it, especially in the first few seconds) and he’d drawn a lot. His cardio was going okay but it had a definite impact on his energy levels. Just as he turned the page there was an urgent knock on the door, just loud enough for him to hear, but quiet enough not to wake him if he was asleep.   
“Yeah?” he asked.  
The door opened and Mycroft came in. Very unlike Mycroft he wasn’t wearing a three piece suit, but instead a rather casual (for him anyway) shirt and a warm coat.   
James sat up in surprise. “What’s wrong?”  
“This situation you resolved has come back.” Mycroft said with a tired sigh.  
“Tell me details.”   
“Apparently he had an apprentice who got away and is now threatening to expose a lot of sensitive information he’d taken.”  
“Including facts that will expose that I am alive.” James finished.  
“Indeed.”  
“But you have good teams, better than me. So why are you coming to me?”  
Instead of answering Mycroft handed James a stack of surveillance photos. James looked through them.  
“That’s one of my old hideouts.” He observed.  
“Exactly.”   
“The one with the boobytraps.”  
“And the only person alive who knows how to get through them.” Mycroft said.  
“Is me.” James finished the sentence.  
“What’s the dateline?” James asked as he flipped through the pages.  
“6 am.”  
“No time to lose then.”  
Mycroft put a hand on James’ shoulder, “You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready. You can say no. You’re no use dead.”  
“You’ll need to have plenty of people around the building,” James said as he started to make some rough sketches of the building. “Here,” he made a cross on the drawing. “Here and here.” he drew two more crosses. “I can’t go in with more than two men. Pick two that aren’t too important and can follow orders well.”  
Mycroft took his phone out and started texting orders.   
“You won’t let me carry a gun but I’ll need a knife.”  
“Anything else?”   
“A sturdy jacket, good shoes, some rope and a flashlight.”  
Mycroft nodded, “better get dressed then.”  
James found the army regulation trousers he prefered since the second day there and threw on a better fitting T-shirt. He didn’t mind Mycroft seeing the scars on his body, Mycroft had seen them before. If Mycroft was surprised he certainly didn’t show it. He followed Mycroft through the hallways and to the car. There Anthea came with everything he’d requested. He tried not to think about the fact that he was going outside, that he was going away from his safe place. He kept his mind focussed on the mission. He put the jacket and shoes on and stored everything in the jacket. It was slightly too big and felt comfortable on the skin. The almost rough fabric felt grounding and safe. Mycroft put his arm on his back and guided him to the car.   
“Recite fibonacci to me.” Mycroft told him to take his mind of everything for a moment. James closed his eyes and started talking, quickly rattling off the sequence. (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13…..) The car started driving. After a while James opened his eyes again and focussed on the photos again.

  
It felt like less than half an hour later that they arrived at the location.   
“Your team is waiting for you.” Mycroft said. He held out a small earbud “Here. Put this in. it’s the communication system. You need to be in too. Your code name is Fox.”  
James put it in and got out of the car. He and Mycroft met with the two agents that were going to go in with him.   
“Follow his directions closely,” Mycroft warned them. “Your lives may depend on it.”

  
He guided the two agents through the maze that had been one of his safe houses. The traps were deadly if you didn’t know what you were doing, but thankfully it was all his design in the first place and he managed to guide them through it without any problems. He didn’t remember after that. He just remembered his head hurting and feeling very afraid.


	9. Chapter 8

“He ran Sir.” One of the agents told Mycroft.  
“What happened?”  
“We came into the inner room, an alarm when off and he screamed. He then ran off.”  
Mycroft sighed. “Get prisoner transport ready.” He told Anthea and walked to the car. “I will send you the address to get to.”  
Mycroft got into the driver's seat of the car and drove off. He had a pretty good feeling where James would be.   
He walked into the plain looking office building through the back door and took the stairs to the top floor. The top floor had once been James’ favourite hideout. It was mostly his office, but also the first address Mycroft had been able to track him back to. No employees apart from Moran seemed to have ever been there. Mycroft got his lockpicks out but the door was half open. He pushed the door open and looked around. The place was a mess. There were papers everywhere and in some mood James had written all kind of equations on the walls and floor in red marker. All of it was covered in a big layer of dust. It made Mycroft think about when his men had tried to get information from Moriarty. It almost felt like Moriarty and James were two different people. Maybe in some sense they were.   
It was cold there. It had been a cold winter and the heating wouldn’t have been used for a long time. He walked around the room and found James curled up in his jacket under the desk. James looked more like a scared little child than Mycroft had ever seen him. He was shivering from the cold and his face was full of dried tears. Mycroft reached out slowly. James hissed. Mycroft quickly pulled back again. He weighed out his options. He could stay here and try to coax James out, or he could get some agents to take him in. he sat down on the floor next to James and texted Anthea with the location.   
“James?” He asked.  
James whimpered and pushed his hands over his ears. Option two wasn’t going to work. People in here was going to drive him crazy and make him even more dangerous. Mycroft's mind went back to the time he had been the unfortunate subject of a drug that induced a sensory overload. It had been painful and terrifying. He shivered at the unpleasant memory. It was no doubt that this was what James was experiencing. He sent off another text to Anthea to get what he needed and waited. There wasn’t much he could do. He texted and made arrangements for James in the meantime. Then the text from Anthea came that she was outside. He got up as quietly as possible and walked to her outside the door. She handed him the syringe he’d asked for. He went back in and sat back down next to James. He whispered as quietly as possible.  
“This needs to be done James. It’ll be over soon.”  
James just whimpered. Mycroft couldn’t tell if he’d heard him in the first place. He felt sorry for James. This was going to hurt like hell. He stabbed the syringe into James and James screamed. Not long after James went limb and quiet. Mycroft pulled James into his arms. He transferred James to over one shoulder and carried him down the stairs.

  
James woke up in a pitch black room. His head was hurting and he felt weak. He felt too weak to even open his eyes. In his mind he went through his body to check for any damage. There were some bruises but not much else. He tried to remember what had happened. There was the mission they’d done. He remembered everything up to the last door and then his memory became distorted like the video of it was corrupted. He suddenly heard a whimper and then realized he was the one who’d whimpered. He tried to empty his mind and go back to sleep but it wasn’t happening. He opened his eyes slowly and looked around. It was the cell he had been in in the beginning, but now the light was off. The only light there was a very soft glow from the cracks of the door. He wondered what time it was, what had happened and what would happen next. There was a soft sound at the other side of the door and it swung open. James cringed at the sudden bright light and pulled the coat over his head to protect him. The door closed again and footsteps came towards the bed. He tried to listen to who it was but he couldn’t. His brain still wasn’t functioning as it should.   
“James?” Came the soft voice of Owen.  
James moved the jacket so he could see Owen. He was carrying a big glass of what looked like a milkshake.  
“You’re gonna have to drink all of it.”   
James let out a whine.   
“Yeah don’t I know it. But it’s strawberry. Come on, try to sit up.”  
James tried to push himself up but failed. Owen put the glass down and helped him sit up and lean against the wall. He held the glass to James’ lips and slowly helped him drink. It took a long time, but slowly but surely James drank the whole glass of the protein shake.   
“There. Wasn’t too bad, now was it?”   
James shook his head slowly.   
“Now is it okay if I check you over?”  
James nodded and Owen started checking James over. He used a dimmed red light that wasn’t hurting James’ eyes.   
“Any pain anywhere?” Owen asked.  
James pointed at his head.  
“Headache?”  
James nodded.  
“Mister Holmes warned that it may happen. The protein shake will probably help that. You can have something to help you sleep now if you want?”  
James nodded. Owen reached into his pocket and took out a pill and a small bottle of water. He held the pill to James’ lips and James took it in his mouth. He helped James drink and then helped him lay down again.   
“If you need me, just make some noise and I’ll come in.” He reassured James. He left again, taking care to open the door as little as possible as he slipped out.   
James thought about how Owen had treated him. He had expected to having it felt as if he’d been talking to a child but it didn’t.

  
“Sir?” Owen said as he came into Mycroft's office, “You wanted to see me?”  
“Yes, sit down.” Mycroft said as he pointed at the chair. Owen sat down. Mycroft took a moment to close the files on the table before he started talking.  
“You’ve been spending a lot of time with James.” Mycroft started.   
“I’ve been following your orders, sir.”  
“You don’t think it’s been too much?”  
“No sir. I am his carer. It’s why you picked me in the first place.”  
“And?”  
“As you suggested, sir, this approach will work much better for him.”  
“When he wakes up let me know. I will need a word. I can only confirm my suspicions by talking to him.”  
“Understood sir.”  
“Oh and, maybe bring Alice to the office sometime. Say tomorrow.”  
Owen smiled. “Yes sir.”

  
James woke up. He didn’t know what time it was or how long he’d slept but it felt like it had been a long time. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.   
“Owen?” he asked. His voice was hoarse and quiet.   
A moment later Owen opened the door.  
“Hey James. How are you feeling?”  
“Confused, tired, hungry and really thirsty.”   
“Understandably. I’ll get you some food and water.”  
“Please.”  
“And Mister Holmes wishes to have a word.”  
James couldn’t help it but cringe. He was convinced he was in trouble and Mycroft would undoubtedly tell him that this arrangement was over. That he would spent the rest of his miserable days rotting away in an isolation cell. Not that he blamed Mycroft.   
“Your food, James.” came Owen’s voice suddenly. James hadn’t noticed that he’d left but now he was standing there with a plate of chicken sandwiches and a bottle of water. James smiled. It was exactly what he was craving. He sat up and took the bottle of water with a thankful smile. He drank about half and then started on a sandwich.   
“Is Mister Holmes very angry?” He asked quietly  
“I think you best ask him yourself.” Owen said “You know he hardly ever shows his emotions.”  
James sighed “Of course he’s angry.”   
“Eat your food. He’ll be along shortly.”

  
“Afternoon, Mister Holmes.” James said quietly as Mycroft walked into the cell. He was curled up in his coat and watched as Mycroft strolled in. Mycroft observed James for a moment before sitting down on the chair Owen had brought in minutes earlier. James wrapped his arms around his knees and refused to look at Mycroft.  
“I was under the assumption that we were operating on a first name basis.” Mycroft said  
“We were.” James replied  
“We are, James.” Mycroft corrected.  
James looked up in surprise “What?”  
“Your deductive skills seem to be malfunctioning, James.” Mycroft said with a soft smile. “I am not angry at you.”  
“Yours are working perfectly as always.” James said with some resentment. “Tell me then.”  
“I’m pretty sure I know what happened, but you’ll have be honest with me for me to be sure.”  
“How?” James asked.  
“I want you to tell me what happened. What you remember.”  
“But I don’t.”   
“Then tell me up to the last thing that you remember. From when you got out of the car.”  
“I got out of the car, told your agents what to do, guided them through the maze, got them through safely, opened the door and….” James stopped and thought for a moment “I heard a high pitched noise and then everything started hurting. I think I ran past a bakery because I smelled bread. I just remember running and… and then I woke up here.”  
Mycroft nodded “it’s as I thought then.”  
“Care to share?” James snapped  
“Sensory overload.” Mycroft simply said.   
James frowned for a moment as he went through the symptoms in his mind. Mycroft was, of course, right. James sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.   
“So you’re not going to punish me?” he asked and then cringed when he realized how childish it sounded.  
“James, you saved a lot of lives and you saved me a lot of work. I am immensely proud of you. And.. and I am sorry I asked you to do this. You weren’t ready and I knew it.”  
“So what now?” James asked.  
“Today I just wanted to confirm my suspicions. You’ll be able to go have a shower and go back to your room. Sadly I have work to do, but if you feel rested tomorrow we’ll talk about a way to help you learn to cope with these changes.”  
“It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?” James asked after a moment of silence.  
“It’s not going to be this intense, but yes, you will struggle with it.” Mycroft said

  
He was laying in his own bed again, in his own room, now. He had his arms wrapped around his legs and his forehead against his knees. It was always going to be like this. It was always going to hurt in his head. Just being outside would be difficult. Tears pricked behind his eyes and he didn’t try to push them away. He cried.   
The door opened but he didn’t look up. He didn’t want to know who it was. He didn’t want food and he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. He just wanted to be alone. Suddenly something brushed against his leg. James looked up. His eyes were still full of tears and there was a beautiful ginger cat rubbing her head against James’ leg. James reached out slowly and started petting her. She purred. James looked up and in the doorway stood Owen with a smile.  
“She’ll be here all day to keep you company.”  
James said a quiet thank you and focussed on Alice again. He petted her as Owen put a bowl of food and a bowl of water on the floor.  
“Let me know when you two need anything.” He said and left.  
He spent the morning playing with Alice and drawing. Owen joined them for lunch. They talked about random little things, the Doctor Who episodes he’d missed (James made a mental note to ask Mycroft if he could watch TV or s DVD’s soon) and about books that had come out since it all happened. The time went too quickly and too soon the lunch break was finished.   
“Mister Holmes will be here soon.” Owen said.  
James sighed. He didn’t really want to have the conversation with Mycroft yet. He didn’t want to talk about everything he couldn’t do anymore.   
“At least you have Alice to give you support.” Owen said in an attempt to cheer him up.  
James scooped Alice of the floor and put her on his lap with a smile, “that’s true.”   
“She likes you very much.” Owen said, “she doesn’t let me do that.”  
“I’m not sure I’ll let you take her back.” James joked.   
Owen glared playfully at James, just as Mycroft walked in.  
“Am I interrupting something?” Mycroft asked with a slightly amused smile on his face as he came in.  
Owen turned a light shade of red and shook his head.  
“I’m kidnapping the cat.” James said with a serious face.   
Owen burst out in laughter and Mycroft joined him. Owen relaxed and James watched him with a smile.   
Mycroft pulled a serious face “Kidnapping is a very serious offence mister Moriarty. There will be serious consequences if you attempt this.”  
James tried to keep a straight face and played scared, “But Mister Holmes, it’s a cat.”  
Owen bursted out in laughter again. Mycroft smiled. “I am glad you are feeling better, James.”  
James went quiet again and looked away.  
“Hathaway, if you would.” Mycroft said and pointed at the door. Owen left quickly.   
James sat down on his bed and Mycroft sat down on the chair next to the desk. James looked at his hands.   
“James, we need to talk about helping you to cope.”   
“I’m broken. Just accept that, Mycroft.”  
“You’ve gone through some hard times, James. Your brain has changed. You can learn to cope with this but it will take time and effort.”  
“You sound like the doctors in the hospital.” James accused.  
“I did consult a doctor.” Mycroft said, “and read a little literature. Your case is quite rare.”  
“I’m aware.” James said bitterly.  
“I would like to start with exposure therapy ASAP. Actually today if you’re up for it.”  
“How?”  
“For today, just a short walk outside. There’s a small bookstore just around the corner.”  
“It’s hard to argue when you invite me to a bookstore.” James said happily as he shrugged his coat on.  
Mycroft got up and guided James outside.  
“How do you know I won’t run?” James asked when they got to the outside door.  
“Do you think you could?”   
“Fair point.” James said not entirely unamused.   
Mycroft opened the final door and held it open for James. He walked through the door and into the afternoon air. It was cool but not overly cold. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a second. The base he had been staying at (he was trying not to think imprisoned) looked like a house from the outside. It had a nice driveway to a quiet road. They walked over the driveway to the road and turned left. About 100 meters from the driveway there was a street.   
“It looks a world away from London.” James commented.  
“It does indeed.” Mycroft commented and looked around as well.  
“Yet we were in London in what? An hour?”   
“Indeed.”  
A car drove by at high speed. The sound was loud and sudden and James put his hands over his ears and moved away in instinct. Mycroft reached out and grabbed James’ arm. He didn’t pull his hands away from his ears, but just made sure James felt his presence. After the car was gone it took another twenty seconds for James to move his hands away from his ears and looked up at Mycroft. He looked back at the meters they walked, as if he was tempted to run back and hide, but then turned and started walking again. Mycroft let go of James’ arm and followed.

  
The bookstore was small and didn’t have all that much, but James loved it. In James’ eyes it was gorgeous. It was stashed full of books, both new and second hand. The bookcases were dark wood and seemed a weird mix between cheap and expensive, between off the shelf and hand made. It had the perfect amount of light and some drawings on the few spots of wall that weren’t covered in bookcases. He went past every book and quietly said if he’d read it or not. The owner, an old man with grey hair and a past James read with ease, sat in an armchair and read in a book. He had barely acknowledged them, but seemed to know Mycroft.   
“You can pick a book if you like.” Mycroft said.  
James smiled and immediately took a book off a shelf that Mycroft recognized as the collected works of Lewis Carroll.   
“I didn’t know you enjoyed geometry as well, James.” Mycroft joked.  
James glared playfully and replied “His geometry not so much, but his Matrix Algebra and mathematical logic are very interesting.”  
The old man looked up from his book and suddenly paid close attention to the conversation. Mycroft took the book from James and walked to the desk next to the arm chair.   
“Good afternoon. Just this today.” Mycroft said with a smile. The man got up and walked to the desk. Then he punched in the price into the old-fashioned machine and counted out Mycroft's change.   
Mycroft thanked the man and held the door open for James.

  
“Tell me what you saw.” Mycroft said while they walked back to the base.  
“Retired literature professor. Gay, lost his partner three years ago. Complex medical problems. Has a year to live, max.” James said with a shrug. “Worked for the The Circus a few times. Nothing major obviously.”  
Mycroft nodded approvingly.  
“Well done James.”  
“I still manage that perfectly well.”  
Mycroft chuckled softly and casually observed James.   
“So tell me,” James said, “what is this base for?”  
“Officially, it’s a classified army base.”  
“And unofficially?”  
“It’s where I do the business that the others don’t need to know about.”  
“Like me.”  
“Exactly.”  
“Isn't that what your club is for?”  
“That’s business mostly.”  
“Mycroft?” James asked suddenly “why do you spent so much time with me? There must be more important things in your work.”  
“You have great potential James. And the rough way isn’t going to work on you anymore. Owen is good, but he’s not like us. Not that smart. There are very few people like us in this world James. It’s important those talents are used.”  
“So basically you like spending time with me.”  
Mycroft gave James a look that meant ‘I will kill you if you tell anyone but yes’.  
James nodded and walked back onto the compound. He looked around at the security, mostly out of routine. They spotted Mycroft's personal car waiting for him. James took the clue.  
“I will see you soon.”  
“Yes you will.”  
James smiled. Good. I look forward to it. Maybe another game of chess.”  
“I will win it.” Mycroft told him with a grin as he got into the car.  
“We’ll see.” James told him and walked inside, to Owen, who was waiting.   
“Up for a challenge?” Owen asked.  
“After a nap.” James said as he rubbed his head. The walk had been exhausting and James looked like it.  
“I was going to suggest tomorrow.”  
“Deal.”

  
The next day he laced his boots up tightly and put his coat on. Owen did the same. Together they walked over to the assault course in a far corner of the the base. James let his eyes run over it and started stretching a little. He still wasn’t as fit as he once was, even with all the training.   
“Ready?” Owen asked  
“Course I am.” He said with a grin.  
“Go!” Owen shouted and took off. James took off immediately after him. He ran the first bit through the mud and then started climbing the rope up the wooden wall. Owen was slightly faster and was ahead by the time they got to the net they had to crawl under. By the time they both got out, James was ahead. His small posture gave him an edge at this bit. He pulled himself up and clung on the rope over the small pond. He crossed it quickly. He started running to the end but Owen ran faster and by the time they were at the finish line Owen was ahead and crossed five seconds before James. He was out of breath but grinned. James followed and grinned as well.  
“Damn good.” Owen said.   
“You’re good at this.” James said and closed his eyes. He tried to catch his breath but didn’t quite manage. He steadied himself against the nearest thing, which turned out to be Owen. Owen held him up.  
“Deep breaths James.”  
It took James almost a minute to catch his breath. He stood up straight again.“I’m okay again.”  
Owen smiled “Enough for today, I would say.”  
“Agreed.”  
“Let's go back inside.”

  
James was laying down on his bed and scribbling in his notebook while having two mathematics textbooks laying on his chest. He was completely absorbed by the notes he was writing. He didn’t notice Mycroft walking in.  
“I hear you almost fell over after the obstacle course.” He said instead of greeting.  
James looked up rather confused.   
“Oh hello Mycroft. We’re doing that game of chess today?”  
“Indeed we are.” Mycroft said with a smile as he put the chessboard on the table. James abandoned his notes and the mathematics textbooks and sat up.   
“Your crisis is dealt with?”  
“It is indeed. Black or white today?”  
“Black.”  
Mycroft nodded at the board “set it up for us, please.”   
James moved over and started setting the pieces on their places as Mycroft inspected James’ locker. Mycroft took a long moment to inspect it and then turned back to James.   
“I am impressed. This is perfectly done, James”   
“I do try.” James answered with a smile. Mycroft went back to the table and moved his first piece. James answered the move, already into the game. They played quite quickly, moving their pieces soon after the other had finished their move. Four minutes in Mycroft suddenly stopped the routine and stared at the board.   
“Tell me what you miss.” He said as he moved his rook.  
James took a moment to think before he answered.   
“Music, having a cuppa whenever I feel like it and choosing what I eat.” He said as he moved a pawn, “and watching telly. Owen tells me there are new seasons of Doctor Who.”  
“You know you need to follow the food schedule your trainer set.”   
“But?”  
“Check.” Mycroft said instead as he moved his queen.  
James studied the board as he spoke “You were going to say something about the others.” he said and moved a piece.  
“Tell me about these.” Mycroft said as he took a photo out of his pocket and put it on the table. James picked it up and studied the photo for a long moment while Mycroft moved a pawn. He put the photo down and moved his queen.   
“They’re bad news. They’re ruthless and will do anything for anyone with the money. Either you buy them off or you kill the person that hired them. You can’t outsmart them or outrun them. Not even us. They’re rarely hired for anything else ”  
Mycroft countered with a move almost immediately. They went back to making quick moves in the game until James suddenly stopped and stared at the board for almost a minute. He then moved a piece.  
“Check” James said with a grin.  
Mycroft moved his piece and studied the board. James made a countermove.  
“Checkmate.”   
Mycroft looked up “Well done, James.”  
“Well played, Mycroft.”

  
James was jogging on a treadmill while reading in one of his mathematics books. He was focussed almost completely on the complicated formulas that he was trying to visualise, while still running on a decent pace. He had been jogging for 15 minutes or so when the door opened. He was in the middle of an equation so he did not look up until Mycroft cleared his throat. James looked up and immediately after that forgot he was running so almost fell off the treadmill. He reacted instinctively and jumped off.   
“Am I interrupting your workout?”  
“I didn’t have very long left, so I’m sure it’s alright.” James said as he grabbed his towel and wiped away the sweat. He eyed the canvas shopping bag in Mycroft's hand but did not comment on it.   
“I hear it is going well.”   
“Yeah. Not bad.” James commented. “I still prefer the one on one training to the running, but the assault course isn’t bad either.”  
“I gather that your hand to hand combat is getting better.”  
James chuckled, “He’s just a tad annoyed that I beat him half the time.”  
Mycroft chuckled as well and then held the bag out to James “I think you have earned this, but I don’t want you to slack off on your training.”  
James took the bag and looked inside. His face lit up excitedly as he discovered the contents was an old portable DVD player and a bag full of DVD’s. It didn’t matter one bit that the machine was old and battered. Owen quietly looked around the corner, eager to see James’ reaction.   
“Why don’t you go freshen up, James, and Mister Hathaway here will bring everything to your room.”  
James looked up at Mycroft and Owen after having read the titles of the DVDs.   
“Yeah sure.” He replied happily, handed the bag to Owen and left for the showers. Owen looked at Mycroft and silently wondered if James was allowed to go unaccompanied.   
“I think we can trust him to come back to his room after this, besides I think there’s still microwave popcorn in the kitchen.” Mycroft said after having read what Owen was thinking. For a moment Mycroft had a cheeky smile on his face. “Now you better get going, Mister Hathaway. You‘ll want to be back before he gets back from his shower, or he’ll figure out the other surprise without you.” Mycroft said and left the room.   
Owen quickly got the microwave popcorn ready and set the DVDplayer up on James’ desk. He’d just finished this when James came in. He was flanked by a grumpy guard. The guard glared at Owen, but didn’t say anything and as soon as James had gone into the room he left again.   
“Ready?” Owen asked.   
“I am quite-” James said and cut himself off, “Is that a kettle?!” He exclaimed happily.  
“Yup.” Owen said.  
James grinned happily and looked at it closely, yet he didn’t fail to spot Owen casually putting something on James’ desk. James looked up and beamed as he saw the Doctor Who mug.   
“This day just keeps getting better.”   
“And I have popcorn.”   
“And we have the newest season of Doctor Who. Which I have not seen yet.”  
“Exactly.”   
James had a twinkle in his eye when he turned to Owen. “Say, Owen, when do you finish your shift?”  
Owen started laughing. “Shift or no shift, we’re watching Doctor Who.”  
James first made tea and then put the dvd player on his desk in a way they could see it from the bed. They sat down and watched several episodes.


	10. Chapter 9

“Ready?” Owen asked James three weeks later. He’d been outside and in the village every day. Most of the time with Owen. He could do two rounds of the assault course. He won almost every fight against the trainer. He had his own kettle and a mug. He was feeling better. He was doing better.   
“Tell me again why I am in army uniform?”  
“Because you are visiting Mister Holmes at his official work as a consultant. Do we need to go over the this again?”  
“I have actually done basic training.”  
“Yeah but before.”   
“I still remember.”  
Owen grinned, “Prove it.”   
“I haven’t got my beret on yet.”  
Owen raised his eyebrow, “Get on with it corporal.”  
James straightened his uniform and put the cypress green beret on carefully.  
“Who are you?”  
“Corporal Lewis, Intelligence corps, sir.”  
“Why are you here?”  
“Consulting for Mister Holmes, sir.”  
“ID?”  
James took his ID out of his pocket and showed it. He really looked like a soldier and nothing suggested he wasn’t. Owen nodded “Get going, corporal.”

  
“Good morning” James said as he drove up to the gate.   
“Good morning sir.” The private replied. James got out of the car with his bag and followed the private to the sargent.   
“Good morning, sergeant.” He said. He stood at ease and handed the bag to one of the privates. He saw two privates check his car from the corner of his eye.   
“Papers.” The sergeant demanded. James took his ID and papers from his pocket and handed them over. He watched as the sergeant had a close look at the ID.  
“Arms out.” He told James. James complied. The man patted him down and checked the things in his pockets. The private handed him his bag back.   
“This way.” The sergeant said.  
James followed the sergeant to the officer’s office. He saluted together with the sergeant. The officer saluted back. James put his hands by his side and stood to attention.   
“Who are you and what are you doing here?” He asked James.  
“Corporal Lewis, sir. Intelligence corps. Mister Holmes summoned me, sir.”   
The officer sat down at his computer “At ease.”  
James changed to the at ease position. He watched as the officer took his ID from the sergeant and checked his credentials.   
“Mister Holmes is waiting for you, corporal. You’ll be escorted to him.”  
“Understood, sir.”  
“You’re dismissed.”  
James saluted again and when the officer had saluted back he collected his ID and papers from the table, turned right and left the room. There was someone waiting for him. Behind him he heard the officer mumble something about ‘the bloody Mister Holmes’ having so much power without being in the armed forces.   
“I’m here to escort you to Mister Holmes, Corporal.”   
James followed him through buildings and security to an office. He opened the door for James and there was Mycroft sitting at his desk with files on the table. James walked in and saluted. Mycroft saluted back. James stood at attention when the door closed. He waited for Mycroft to start talking.   
“At ease, corporal. Sit down.” Mycroft said and pointed at the chair opposite him. James sat down. Mycroft handed him a file and James started reading it. He scanned over the pages carefully.   
“May I take notes on this, sir?”  
“Go ahead.”  
James fished a pen out of his pocket and started writing on it in his fast scribbles. Mycroft looked over at what he was writing. James moved the papers so Mycroft had a better view of them.   
“Well?” He asked impatiently.   
James started explaining the files. It was exactly what he was good at and he had a soft smile hidden on his face under the neutral expression. He got more and more into the subject. He explained things to Mycroft while staying perfectly in character until Mycroft made a wrong conclusion from what he was telling him.   
“No, no you’re completely wrong. It’s not like that at all.”  
Mycroft's face hardened. “I would be careful if I were you, Corporal. I hear demotion is very hard to cope in an Army that values itself on being the best in the world.”  
James stopped in the middle of the sentence he was writing and stared at Mycroft in shock for a moment. He managed to keep himself from whimpering like a hurt dog but his shock and fear still spilled on his face. He quickly suppressed the feeling of panic and swallowed.  
“Understood sir.”  
“But do tell me how I am wrong, Corporal.” Mycroft said with an expression on his face that made it very clear that he had to be careful.  
James explained the mistake. His voice was more quiet than before.   
“Write everything you explained to me down as clear and brief as possible.”  
“Yes sir.” James said.  
“Now.” Mycroft said coldly when James didn’t start writing immediately. James took lined paper out of his bag and started writing quickly. Mycroft read the notes James had made in the files. It took James less than ten minutes to write everything down. He put the papers on the desk “I’m done sir.”  
“Very well, corporal. You’re dismissed.”  
James quickly put everything in his bag, stood and saluted. Mycroft saluted. James turned right and left the room. The same man that had walked him to Mycroft was waiting for him to walk him back to his car. He went through another pat down and drove back to the base he was living at. Owen was waiting for him outside, smiling. James parked the car and got out. Owen hugged him.  
“Mister Holmes called. He wants you to know you did very well and we’re having fish and chips to celebrate.”  
“Oh brilliant.” James said happily.  
“I want to hear details.” Owen said as he guided James inside. They sat down in an empty office with the fish and chips Owen had gotten previously. James told Owen about the afternoon while eating.   
“I must admit,” He ended the summary, “Mycroft threatening with demotion is terrifying, even when it doesn’t actually matter.”  
Owen chuckled. “He can be rather threatening.”  
“I really enjoyed it today.” James said, “but I am exhausted. I am not as good at this as I used to be.”  
“You’re very good at it though. You’ve recovered really fast once you set your mind to it. You got back into your character with a ten hour notice. And for most of that you were asleep.”  
James smiled. It wasn’t all that bad after all.


	11. Chapter 10

“I’ve got something in London that needs to be dealt with.” Mycroft said when they were having a cup of tea in Mycroft's office. It had become a bit of a habit of theirs. If Mycroft was there they would sit down with tea. Mycroft would talk about all sorts of things. James would talk about his training and the files Mycroft would give him to decipher or read. Life almost felt normal, though James wasn’t sure he would recognize normal. It felt good anyway.   
“I have a mission for you. If you’re up for it.”  
“It depends on what it is.” James said honestly.  
“It’s in London.” Mycroft warned  
“You’ve got plenty of good men, why me?”  
“Usually, I wouldn’t, but it needs to be done off the radar. There’s a chance I have a mole somewhere.”  
“It could be me.” James said with a smile.  
“Oh don’t play, James.” Mycroft said with a chuckle.  
“You’re saying I couldn’t?” James asked.  
“You don’t have access to the leaked information.”  
James felt better now he saw that Mycroft had considered him. He wasn’t completely useless then.   
“So what is there that needs to be done?”  
“Pick up a package from a dead drop.”  
“What’s the catch?” James asked suspiciously.  
“No catch, I just can’t have any ties to this.”  
“Alright.” James said, “I’ll do it.”  
“Thank you James.”

 

  
James took the train into London the next day. Mycroft had given him a phone and put music on it. James was dressed in a simple suit and carried a black backpack. He looked exactly like a normal businessman. No one would look twice at him. He changed to the tube and rode it to the tube station Angel. He got out and walked to the nearby Waterstones. He smiled at the man at the desk and asked for the reserved book. Mycroft had given him all the details. The information would be hidden inside. He also bought a few books he liked (Mycroft had very kindly given him some money to pick out a few books for himself) and after that a sandwich in a tesco express. He walked back to the tube station when He suddenly saw Detective Inspector Lestrade walking right at him. He ducked into the nearest shop. He was shaking. Lestrade was going to come into the store and arrest him and everyone was going to found out and he was going to go to prison. The woman in charge of the shop looked at him.  
“You alright love?” she asked.  
James stared at her in shock. Why was the music in the shop so loud? Why was the light buzzing? He ran to the door, only to see that Lestrade was on the phone to someone outside. He turned and looked around the shop. He needed to get out. He needed to leave. Lestrade couldn’t see him. The woman put her hand on his shoulder. It felt like her hand was red hot metal. He cried out. She pulled her hand back shocked. James covered his ears and looked around again. There was a door in the back of the shop to somewhere. He ran to it and yanked it open. He ran through it.  
“Hey you can’t go that way!” She called out.  
He followed the hallway blindly and found himself in an alley. There was a truck reversing. The little bleeps hurts his ears and he covered them again. He ran up fire escape stairs and when he got to the top of the building he finally felt like he could breathe again. He took a deep breath and clung onto his bag. He closed his eyes and focussed on his breathing. He needed to calm down. He was going to be okay. He just needed to get home and then he would be safe. But first he needed to eat. He took the sandwich out of his bag and quietly nibbled on it. After eating slowly the first few bites he munched down the rest of it.   
James texted Mycroft a quick summary of what happened and that he needed to be picked up ASAP. Mycroft texted back seconds later that Owen would be at his location in ten minutes. He climbed down the roof and waited in the quiet alley.  
The range rover he’d driven to the army base came around the corner ten minutes later. James got inside quickly and curled up in his seat. He felt like shit. He couldn’t even do this. Owen handed him a thermos flask with tea and drove through london back to the base. They didn’t talk for most of the hour long drive. Only five minutes before they arrived Owen spoke.  
“You did very well. You do know that right?”  
“I messed up.” James said.   
“You got the package.” Owen countered.  
“You had to rescue me!”   
“I only had to pick you up. You handled it very well.”  
James didn’t argue, but didn’t believe it until he handed the package over to Mycroft, who told him that he’d done a good job.

  
Mycroft walked in that evening. James was watching a DVD on the old DVD player and sipping tea from his tardis mug while curled up on his bed. He looked up and paused the dvd DVD.   
“I would offer you a cup of tea, but i’ve only got one mug.” James said softly.   
“That is easily resolved” Mycroft said and left for a moment and came back with an old MI6 mug. James smiled inwardly and made tea for Mycroft. He handed the mug, now filled with tea, back to Mycroft and sat back onto the bed so Mycroft could sit on his desk chair. Mycroft sat down and took a sip from his tea.   
“I hope you are feeling up to a conversation, James.” Mycroft said.   
James nodded “What did you want to talk about?”  
“I’d like you to start doing more work from files. Writing down information, reviewing papers, that sort of thing.”  
James watched Mycroft for a long moment. He tried to read Mycroft, who sat comfortably and was sipping his tea.  
James smiled. “I’d love to.”  
“And there is something you want to talk to me about.” Mycroft commented.  
“Yes.” James said. He wasn’t surprised since he hadn’t tried to hide it and Mycroft still read him very well.  
“What happened when I was guiding your men. And just in general sounds hit me so much harder. Will that stay?”  
“I’m afraid it’s probable.” Mycroft answered truthfully. “But you’ll more likely get used to it more and know what you can and can’t do.”   
“How do you know this?”  
“I have asked a few specialists.” Mycroft admitted. “I haven’t given them many details obviously, but they confirmed my suspicions.”   
James stared at the floor. “How did you know?”  
“I have experienced it once. I shan’t go into details, but I will say that it was painful and it’s something I’m glad not to experience again.”  
James looked up at Mycroft, suddenly knowing exactly what Mycroft was talking about. “Dutch?” He enquired quietly. Mycroft nodded.  
“I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t have a hand in his unfortunate disappearance.”  
“I don’t blame you.” Mycroft answered with a soft smile. He finished his tea and put the empty mug on the desk.   
“Is that all?”  
“Yes.” James said, “that’s all.”  
“Then I shall be going. I have an appointment tomorrow with some rather stubborn people.” Mycroft said as he rose from his seat. He took the mug in his hand and strolled to the door.  
“Best of luck, I suppose.” James said.  
“Oh, and James, I see no reason to keep the door locked any longer. If you want to walk around you are free to do so, but please stay inside and to the back of the property. Away from the road.”  
James smiled happily “Yes sir.”   
Mycroft chuckled and left the door open as he walked away.

 

James started doing more work from his place. The door was no longer locked and he could walk freely around the base. Not that he did that often, but it was good to have that freedom. Owen would give him files from Mycroft and he’d look through them. He’d add information or comment on mistakes. He also started writing down more and more of the information he knew from before. He started to feel at home, but he also saw Mycroft less. It was to be expected really. Now James was doing better it wasn’t needed. Mycroft's time was precious and he was just one tool in Mycroft's toolbox and a broken tool too.

  
“So, how is training going?” Mycroft asked as they walked over the driveway towards the road, on their way to the little tea shop in the village. Mycroft had been away for a whole week.   
“It is going well.” James said. He did look healthier and happier. It wasn’t exactly a lie but it wasn’t exactly the truth either.   
“You are getting fit quite quickly, the trainer tells me.” Mycroft said, “But both him and Owen tell me you are distracted, often not paying attention.”  
“It must be true then.” James said.   
“James.” Mycroft warned coldly, “tell me what’s going on.”  
“Why?” James asked quietly. “I just finally got it.”  
“Got what?” Mycroft asked with a frown.  
“I’m a tool in your set. Owen is my handler. This is my life now.”  
Mycroft looked at James, completely shocked. James was taken aback by this open showing of emotion. Mycroft was his boss, his handler, nothing more. Or so he thought so until now.  
“James.” Mycroft started.  
“What?” James asked almost angrily.  
“It’s not like that.” Mycroft said rather quiet.  
“You don’t need to lie to me about it, Mycroft. It’s okay.”  
“It isn’t, James. It was supposed to be like that, but it’s not. It’s like I said before, James. Very little people understand me. Very little people can actually keep up with me. It did start out as you becoming a tool for me, as you put it, but it’s not. It’s become so much more than that. I have been away, yes, but not because I didn’t want to spend time with you. I had problems I had to resolve abroad.”   
James was surprised to say the least. He smiled happy and proud. He never thought that it would be like that. He stared at Mycroft.   
Mycroft held the door open for James as they’d just arrived at the tea shop. It took James a few moments to regain his composure and he walked through the door. He greeted the girl at the till and sat down at one of the tables. Mycroft joined him a moment later. Before they could say another word the girl walked over with two menus, but Mycroft shook his head. “Two teas. One with and one without milk. Plus a slice of lemon cake and a slice of chocolate cake.”   
The girl nodded and left their table to make what Mycroft has asked.   
“You need the sugar.” Mycroft said explaining. James wasn’t going to argue. Lemon cake was his favorite after all.


	12. Chapter 11

“Ready?” Owen asked.   
They were in one of MI6’s safe houses. James was wearing a leather jacket and thick rimmed glasses. He had a bit of facial hair. Owen was wearing a fitted button up and a beanie. They were about to go undercover and James was nervous. Something felt off, but this job needed to be done and he was just the best for it. Who else was going to play a statistician who claimed to have found a system? Even Mycroft lacked the mathematical knowledge and he certainly couldn’t play a hipster mathematician.   
“Ready.” James said with a nod.   
“Walk me through it?”  
“I’m a statistician who came up with a system for horse racing that looks very legit. You’re my housemate. We want to sell it because we want the money without getting any attention. You have a record I don’t know about. They will undoubtedly bring it up and I will be angry at you for hiding it.”  
“And what is our objective?”  
“To get the infected USB plugged into their computer.”  
“Alright. Let's go.”

They got off the tube and walked the last mile to the meeting place. James checked himself in the reflection of the windows as they walked past. He looked nothing like the man he once was. Thankfully. He’d had dealings with these people and they would love to deliver him to the people who wanted to hurt him. James took a deep breath. At least he was supposed to be nervous. The men would search them so they couldn’t bring any weapons outside of what they’d expect to be having. James had a pocket knife hidden in the leather jacket and he knew Owen was carrying pepper spray. He was more happy with the handcuff key in his watch. That wouldn’t be taken away.   
They arrived at the door and James, after a moment of hesitation, knocked on the door. Seconds later the door was pulled open and they were invited in by a grumpy looking guard.   
James fiddled with the USB stick as they were ‘guided’ (more like pushed) to an office on the first floor. There was one window behind the desk and the rest was concrete. The metal door slammed shut once they were through and they were surrounded by four guards.

  
“Search them.” The man behind the desk commanded. His voice was cold and cruel. He and Owen were pushed against a wall and searched. The guards laughed when they took the pocket knife from him. Then, suddenly, the guards let go again. James turned around slowly.   
“Sorry boys,” The man said. “Just a precaution. Do sit down.”  
James sat down and looked at the man. He was about five years older than James and had short blond hair. He reminded James of a less handsome and more scarred Daniel Craig. Owen had said something about a new Bond movie. James blinked and filed the thought away for when they were safe.   
One of the guards had handed the man the USB stick.   
“Now that I have this,” The man said, “What do I need you for anyway?”  
“Well.” James started stutteringly, “It’s encrypted. And I only have the key. In my head.”  
“Not so stupid then.” The man commented with a grin. “And I suppose you’ll give that to me when you get the money.”  
“Exactly!” Owen said assertively.  
“That was his idea then, was it?” The man asked James. James nodded.  
“No wonder. It takes a criminal to know one, doesn’t it?”  
“What?” James asked, shocked.  
“Nothing major!” Owen protested. “Besides, I was a kid!”  
“You’re still practically a kid.” The man said,“And in way over your head. Now shush. I’m talking to the expert here.” The man said and then turned to James again.  
“Of course I want to test it first.” The man said with a grin. “You don’t mind, do you?” The way he’d asked it made it very clear that they didn’t have a choice in the matter. James wasn’t stupid however. They’d figured out how to do this beforehand.   
“Yes. I know. I’m not stupid. I did my calculations this morning and wrote down the winners for the race that starts in fifteen minutes. It’s in the unprotected file on the USB stick.”  
The man hummed appreciatively. “You should become a criminal, dear. You’d be very good at it.”  
James shivered. The man had no idea how right he was. Owen glanced at James for a moment to check in with him.   
“Unlike your friend here.”  
“I-” James started stuttering. “I have no desire to be a criminal. I just want to get the money for our- our startup.”  
The man chuckled softly and plugged the USB stick in the computer. James watched the man type on the computer and sit back   
“Now we wait for the results.”   
James leaned forward to Owen and talked quietly.   
“You could have told me.”  
“You wouldn’t have wanted to live with me.”  
“Have you done anything since we started living together?”  
“No it was years ago.”  
“Then I don’t care.”  
Owen started at James. James was still impressed with Owens acting. It was good enough to become a professional actor. He wondered if Owen had ever thought about it. He figured Owen would prefer stage over tv or film. He filed these thoughts away in the same ‘for later’ file as before and looked up at the man. The man was checking the results. Momentarily a huge grin appeared on his face.   
“It seems we are in business.”  
“So-so if you will just give us the money I will show you how to get into the encrypted file.” James said.  
“Oh but I have a better deal. You work for us now and I don’t kill your friend here.”  
James stared at the man in complete shock. He used this time pretending to think up a solution. Owen got up, angrily.  
“You don’t get to threaten us. Give us our money and we’ll be out of here.”  
“Oh, but I can just do what I want.” The man grinned.   
“I did a bit of checking up. You two have no one to miss you. No. your friend will start working for me. He has, after all, the mind of a very good criminal. Now if you both are kind and good to me I won’t hurt you.”   
James moved between Owen and the man. “Don’t you dare hurt him!”  
If things had been different they would just wait it out, cooperate and find a way out. But that wasn’t an option. In fifteen minutes the man would find out the real results of that race and figure out the system was fake. They’d both be dead then. Fighting wasn’t an option either. Four guards with guns was going to be impossible.  
“What will it be then?”  
“I..” James looked down “I’ll do it.”  
“No!” Owen growled “You won’t. They’ll just use you and then burn you. I’ve seen it happen.”  
The man held out a hand to one of the guards. The guard put his 9mm handgun in the man's hand. The man pointed it at Owen. “Shut up. Your friend was about to make the right decision.”  
“And.. and if I don’t help you?”  
“Then we will start by shooting your friend and then torture you until you tell us everything. I can be very persuasive with a knife.”  
James went pale.   
“No please no. I’ll do it, just please!”   
James grabbed the man and begged. The man pushed James down with an expression of disgust   
“No one touches me.” He said and fired a bullet into Owens stomach. Owen screamed. James cried out in shock. His instincts took over and took the gun from the man in one fluid motion. Before even one of the guards could grab their guns he’d shot all four of them. The man tried to take the gun away from James but James punched him. He grabbed the man's knife from the desk and cut through the muscles of one leg of his. The man screamed out.   
“You know who I really am?” He asked. His face was cold again, and full of anger. The man tried to move away from James. James put his foot on the wound.   
“Do you know who I really am?” He repeated. The man shook his head in fear.  
“I am James Moriarty. I am back from the dead and I will make you suffer.”   
The man went pale. James moved closer, ready to cut him again, when Owen cried out his name. It was a desperate and pained cry. James left the man in the corner and rushed over to Owen.   
“They’ll be here any second. We’ll get you to a hospital right away.” He told Owen.  
“It’s no use.” Owen told him and motioned to the blood he’d lost. “You can see.”  
James tried to put pressure on the wound but it didn’t help. Owen was losing too much blood.  
“Hey.” James said sweetly, “Hey. It’s gonna be fine.”  
“I’m not one for drama.” Owen said weakly. “But look after yourself. Don’t- don’t stay down there.”  
“But…” James said quietly.   
“You. deserve. Better.” Owen growled. “Go to university.” Owen's voice was now nothing more than a whisper. And then he passed out. James knew there was nothing else he could do. He grabbed the gun again and shot the man in the head. He pulled Owen close and let the tears of anger and sadness run over his face.   
Mycroft's team burst through the door. It couldn’t have been more than a few minutes later but it felt like ages to James. Mycroft came running in as soon as it was declared safe. He gave the room one look (noting how all five men were shot through the head, right between the eyes) and then dragged James away from it by his collar.


	13. Chapter 12

James woke up in an unfamiliar bed. His head hurt. He was curled up tightly. Everything hurt. It took him a moment to remember what had happened. He felt how silent tears ran over the dried ones on his face. He was wearing a soft cotton T-shirt and boxers. The place smelled distinctly of Mycroft. He wondered how he’d gotten there and why he was wearing these unfamiliar clothes. The deductions poured into his head. He was in Mycroft's home, in Mycroft's bed. He was wearing a T-shirt that belonged to Mycroft and new boxers. He had been given a strong sedative. James sat up slowly and rubbed his sore muscles. He was hungry.  
“How can you think about food?” He told himself. “When Owen is dead.”  
James slowly walked into the en-suite. There were clean and warm clothes waiting for him. Before he fully realized what he was doing he’d stripped and stepped into the shower. The hot water was calming.   
He took a long shower. He just focussed on his breathing.   
After the shower he dressed and slowly found his way to the kitchen. He had somewhere, in the back of his mind, a map of the house. He opened the door to the kitchen, only to be almost run down by a cat hiding behind his legs. He looked down and spotted Alice. He then looked back up and saw Mycroft standing in the middle of the kitchen with cat food. He looked a little lost. He didn’t even bother hiding his emotions from James.  
“She won’t eat.” Mycroft stated quietly.  
“She’s upset.” James said as he picked Alice up and petted her head softly.   
“Do you want anything?”   
“Yeah.” James admitted after a moment of silence.  
“What do you want to eat James?”  
James blinked. He tried to think but he couldn’t think of anything. Apparently this was readable on his face because a moment later Mycroft put two slices of bread in the toaster and put the kettle on.

  
“Why is she here?” James finally asked as he was nibbling on a piece of toast with half melted cheese on it.  
“Owen left her to you. His books too. And his DVD collection.”  
James could only mumble a soft ‘oh’ and focussed on his cup of tea. Alice curled up against James’ legs.   
“I’d like you to stay.” Mycroft said. “Here, I mean.”  
“But…” James started quietly.   
“You’ll have your own place of course. Privacy.”  
“No.” James said quietly but determinedly.   
Mycroft observed Jim for a long few seconds.   
“Liar.”  
James picked Alice up and put her on his lap. He ignored Mycroft as he patted Alice and drank his tea. They sat in silence for a while. Mycroft checked his phone and waited for James to speak again.   
“The answer is still no.”  
“I could always transfer you to a prison.” Mycroft suggested.  
“You wouldn’t,” James said, stating the obvious.   
“You can’t stay in that cell.”  
“Ask me again tomorrow.” James finally said in a soft voice. “Could I please have some more toast?”  
Mycroft put two more slices of bread in the toaster. His phone rang and he answered. James listened to Mycroft's voice without listening to the actual words. He didn’t want to know what was going on. He patted Alice absentmindedly until she jumped off his lap and disappeared towards the garden.

  
James didn’t move from his spot in the kitchen. He watched Mycroft make phone calls and get files. He watched without really noticing and listened without hearing what was said. He drifted in his mind palace and visited memories from his past. The sun had gone down. He looked up again. Mycroft had put a hand on his shoulder and dragged his thoughts back to the present.   
“James.” Mycroft said quietly, “I have some bad news.”  
James didn’t look up or speak.  
“Someone else ordered him to kill you and Owen.”  
James looked up now “Who?”  
“We leave in ten minutes. I suggest you dress warmly.” Mycroft replied instead of answering as he dropped a bag in front of James. Mycroft looked exhausted and stressed out. James picked up the bag and went back to the bedroom he’d woken up in. He changed into the winter uniform that was in the bag. Parts of it were his and parts of it were new. He waited for Mycroft by the front door.   
Together they got into the waiting car.  
“You’re playing the part of my assistant until we get to the location. You know what to do.” Mycroft said with a tired voice, yet left little room for James to argue. James watched out the window as the car drove to the airport. James had no intention of arguing. He didn’t feel like it anyway.

  
After having given James the file to read in the plane, Mycroft had closed his eyes and dozed off to sleep. His mind wandered briefly back to arriving at the airport. James had taken the bags and followed Mycroft silently. He put on the posture of a soldier. He followed Mycroft's orders and watched him intimidate security. They’d gotten to the private plane and into the air without any problems. Mycroft’s reputation was good for a lot of things. He glanced at Mycroft again, who was sleeping peacefully in another chair, before turning back to the file. They were going to a remote part of north Scotland where some criminal had a bunker. It was cold outside in London, but the weather in northern Scotland promised to be freezing. It was nearly Christmas. James closed his eyes to try and focus on the situation. He focussed on the plan at hand.

  
After they had landed a helicopter was waiting for them. He carried the bags for Mycroft and silently followed the orders. Waiting for them had been a very grumpy helicopter pilot. Mycroft sat down in the back of the heli and James sat with the pilot. He wondered briefly if he remembered how to fly this model before the engine started and Mycroft started explaining their plan.  
“This place has one way in and one way out, but it’s heavily guarded. We’ll land 500 meters away and take out the guards at the door. The target will be in the office in the back so we’ll have to get through most of the bunker to get there. We incapacitate the target and then short out the electrics. We’ll take him to the helicopter and restrain him for the flight back.”  
James nodded. He silently took the gun, knife and tools from Mycroft and packed them on his body. There was no way back now. He watched the ground come closer as they landed and jumped out of the heli the moment it touched down. He pulled his headset off and followed Mycroft to the bunker.

  
James gasped as he woke up again. His wrists were cuffed together and his head /hurt/, but other than that there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with him. He closed his eyes for a moment and went through his recent memories. The first two guards had been taken out without a problem. He snapped the neck of one and Mycroft took out the other. They had gone in and gotten to the door of the office without much of a problem. The place had been quiet. When suddenly Mycroft next to him slumped to the floor and James felt a prick in his neck. Mycroft! Where was Mycroft? James hadn’t seen him in this cell. His instincts kicked in and seconds later he was free of his handcuffs. He was silently glad he’d learned to pick locks and handcuffs all those years ago. He grinned as he saw the lock. He still had some of his tools on him and silently got the door open. He took the guard in front of the door out without a sound and took his gun and knife back. He went through the options in his mind and figured that the most likely place the target would keep Mycroft would be the room next to the office. He snuck through the building and to the room. Just as he got to the door he heard Mycroft scream. He opened the door and pointed his gun inside. The target had just broken Mycroft’s little finger. As soon as the target spotted James he hauled Mycroft up and pointed his gun against Mycroft's head.   
“Put the gun down, Jim.” The target said coldly. James didn’t do that. He gripped his gun a little tighter and aimed carefully.   
“Tell him to put the gun down.” The target told Mycroft. “Or he’ll be scraping your brains off that wall.”  
Mycroft stubbornly held his mouth shut. James took a breath in and out. In and out for a second time. The third time he breathed in, counted to three and shot the man between the eyes before breathing out again. Mycroft stepped away from the body on the floor. He clearly tried not to show the pain, but James saw it anyway.   
“Time to leave. Go to the helicopter and I’ll make sure this place goes up in flames.” James said. His voice was calm.  
“They’ve killed the pilot.” Mycroft said. He didn’t even argue with James giving the orders.  
“I think I remember how to fly it. Just go. I’ll be right out.”  
“No. I’m coming with you.” Mycroft said stubbornly, but behind the stubbornness was real worry.   
“Fine. Come on then.” James said and left the room. He didn’t even acknowledge the dead guards on the floor and short-circuited the wires at the Christmas tree. Less than a minute later the living room there was blazing but James and Mycroft had already left the bunker and walked to the heli. Mycroft's hand closed around James’ hand. They didn’t speak, but there was a soft smile on James’ face.

  
Two weeks later James sat in his own little study in Mycroft's house and worked on a paper to send in as part of his university application. His drawings were pinned to one of the walls and on his desk, beside his brand new laptop, there were some pencils and pens. Mycroft knocked on the open door with a smile and a tray with two cups of tea.   
“May I come in, James?”  
James looked up and nodded. His eyes briefly lingered on Mycroft’s finger, that was bandaged and set, before up at his face. Mycroft sat down next to him and glanced at the paper that James was writing.   
“Going well then?” Mycroft asked as he handed James one of the cups.  
“Yes. You?” James answered as he sipped the tea.   
“Better every day.” Mycroft said as he stroked his thumb briefly over one of James’ fingers. There was a moment of silence, a silent conversation they’d had countless times over the last two weeks.   
‘Intimacy, Mycroft, really? I thought you didn’t care about anyone.’  
‘I care about you. As I said so many times.’  
‘Still not your boyfriend.’  
‘Wouldn’t want it any other way.’


	14. Epilogue

Mycroft leaned onto his umbrella in the back of the theatre of the university. He watched the students get their papers while checking his phone. These people didn’t matter, he was simply passing time. And then it was time. He put his phone away when the speaker announced their best student, James Lewis, and he watched James walk onto the stage. He wasn’t much like the man he’d gotten to know in that cell and he was nothing like the consulting criminal. They weren’t partners but sometimes it felt like that. It wasn’t like them to have a normal relationship after all. It would be too normal.   
He allowed his mind to wander back to James moving into his place, to James getting some small changes to his face, to James’ first day at university… And he smiled. The former criminal was, to all accounts, well on his way to winning a Fields medal and about to graduate summa cum laude in pure mathematics. They’d sat down with one of the professors, who was incidentally also a former MI5 agent and a close acquaintance of Mycroft. Mycroft had, giving as little information as necessary, explained the situation to him and they’d made a plan for James to be able to succeed. And he had. Of course it hadn’t been smooth sailing. There were meltdowns, arguments.. Even fights. James still struggled to deal with the way his mind worked sometimes. He still forgot to eat too often, he still had nightmares, but not as much as he used to. James had nearly finished his talk now, but Mycroft didn’t need to hear it. He’d heard it and helped James with it. He watched James walk off the stage and casually walk to the back, towards Mycroft. He hugged Mycroft with a bright grin on his face.  
“Well done James.” Mycroft said with genuine pride in his voice.  
“Thank you, Mycroft.” James said and they both knew it was for more than just the compliment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, you stayed until the end. I hope you enjoyed the story. It's been months, if not years, in the making.
> 
> I've had so much help writing this. Thanks to   
> disgvises (on tumblr) for beta reading,   
> to Georgia for helping me write,   
> to Nathalie for working the idea out with me,  
> to Caroline, Laura, Lisa, Christel and my other close friends for encouraging me,  
> to all my friends on my rpg twitter for help me explore this way I've written James,
> 
> and to you for reading until the very end.


End file.
